APPROACH AND HOLD

APPROACH AND HOLD

              My favorite part of getting to work on the Bower’s Farm during calving season is using our horses for a very clear and concise purpose. When we are moving the cows and calves, I get to see my horsemanship principles put to good use. It gives me a clearer picture of where I have succeeded in laying a good foundation with my horse and into what areas I need to put more effort.

              Sometimes I have been surprised with what my horse, Gabriel, has a hard time with. For example, I have always felt very confident within my “friendly game” in all five zones in all six gaits with my horse. This means that Gabe is confident with me using my tools (flag, stick and string, ball, tarp, etc.) in any area on or around his body in a friendly, non-driving manner and that they don’t scare or concern him.

              But recently we starting using tools to aid us in driving the cows and their babies from the calving pens out to the fields. I was given a flag to use to help push the calves forward in the right direction and was very surprised with Gabe when he was unconfident and skittish with my use of it.

Approach and Retreat to Start

          

              The “friendly game” is the first of the seven games that Parelli Natural Horsemanship teaches as part of their system. As I said before, the intent of this game is for the horse to understand that any tool, when used in a rhythmic, non-driving manner, is “friendly” and not something to be afraid of. This helps the horse and human connect with each other’s energy and body language, as opposed to simply moving away from and being afraid of the tool.

              When beginning to teach this game to a young or uneducated horse, approach and retreat with pressure is highly important. Using the tool, let’s say a stick and string, you maintain a rhythm of tossing the string gently over the horse’s withers until his feet stop moving, at which point you remove the pressure and give relief. This teaches the horse that if he stands still and doesn’t listen to his natural instinct of fleeing from the perceived pressure, then he will gain relief, which is what the horse innately seeks.

              This concept of approach and retreat applies to the introduction and use of many different tools. Eventually the horse will learn that relief is found within that “friendly” pressure and it will seek it.

Be Progressive and Fair

              Where many people become stuck within the friendly game is when they remain in this initial mode instead of progressing beyond it. This is where I found myself with Gabe. As our horses become more confident with our friendly pressure, we needed to move from “approach and retreat” to “approach and hold.” As we hold a pressure, it becomes its own new normal and our horses learn to find their relief within this consistency.

              It is also important to remember that we need to be fair with our pressure. While using the flag as a tool to move the calves, I was getting frustrated with Gabe’s reaction when I would approach a calf and use the flag. He would jump away from the rhythm and get tense, and eventually he became too nervous to even go up to a calf at all. I would move away from the cows and do the friendly game with the flag, regain his confidence, only to lose it again as soon as I started flagging a calf.

              The issue I was having was that I was still operating with Gabe within a realm of approach and retreat instead of progressing to approach and hold. I was removing the rhythm of the flag when Gabe relaxed and then sharply adding it again once we were next to a calf, which taught Gabe that the calves were a source of pressure. Instead, I needed to progress to using the flag in a constant, rhythmic motion, showing Gabe that whether we are working the calf or not, the movement of the flag is the relief instead of the pressure. Once I changed to keeping the flag in motion, holding the “pressure,” Gabe’s entire attitude changed and he was able to relax while working the cows.

Be Brave

              Everyone has something that  they are nervous or scared to do. I once saw a wonderful diagram that applies to this perfectly. It was a bubble labeled “comfort zone,” and then on the outside it was labeled “where the magic happens.” To truly live up to our lives’ calling and potential, we have to venture outside what feels comfortable and safe.

              At first, this venturing may look a lot like an approach and retreat. Finding something to do that takes you outside of your comfort zone, and then retreating for a while to gain back your confidence and strength. But it's important that as you grow, you progress from a mode of “approach and retreat” into a mode of “approach and hold.” As you stay longer within that thing that makes you so nervous, it will eventually become your new normal and thus you will find relief within what used to scare you.

Final Thoughts

          

              There is a book on my reading list that I look forward to having the opportunity to read someday. It is “Move Closer, Stay Longer” by Dr. Stephanie Burns. In it, she “confronts the issue of fear that clocks the adult from achieving their goal,” helping “people who become paralyzed by fear when the learning process becomes frightening.” Even though I have yet to get the chance to read it, I believe the title says it all. Just as I needed to learn to hold the pressure for the well-being and furthering of my Gabe’s development, we must also learn to approach and hold the things that scare us the most. Because those things are often the things most worth holding.